We Haz Jazz: The Animated Series Joke Book
This is the first-ever We Haz Jazz Animated Series joke book, for ages 5 to 12, also available as an audio joke book on CD. Back Cover Description Get Ready to Laugh! Who are the funniest kids in town? The We Haz Jazz kids! Read and learn loads of jokes from Ethan's food and eating jokes to Riff's jazz music jokes. You can even learn how to write your own jokes. It's new! It's now! It's really funny. Ages 5-12. List Kids' Favorite Jokes (18 jokes) Riff: What do ya get when ya cross a jazz musician with a sweet potato? A yam session. Susan: How do ya make a bandstand? Take away deir chairs. Sophia: Why was the musician arrested? Because he got in treble. Ethan: Did you hear about the frog who parked her car in a no-parking space? She got toad away. Why is tennis is such a loud game? Because the players raise a racket. Matthew: What is an English teacher's favorite song? I Put a Spell on You. Christina: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Well, have you seen a rabbit wearing glasses before? Cindy: Why did the piano laugh? Because his ivories were tickled. Rose: Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarter-back. Sammy: Why did Mozart discard his chickens? Because they kept saying, "Bach." Grace: Why did the ballerina stop dancing? It was tutu hard. Abe: What is the king of the classroom? The ruler. What's the smartest US state? Alabama, because it has 4 A's and a B. Sarah: What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing? Mount Rushmore. What do you call a flower that's been driven up the wall? A crazy daisy! all-time favourite (Sarah's signature) Lauren: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because his students were so bright. Jessica: When does a clock strike 13? When it's broken. What do you call two bows that cannot be tied nor untied? A double rainbow. Ethan's Food and Eating Jokes ( jokes) * What did the baby corn say to the mother corn? "Can you help me find my pop?" * What did the nut say when it sneezed? "Cashew!" * Why did the cabbage win the race? Because it got a-head of all the other farm foods. * Why was the cucumber so angry? Because he was in a pickle. * What bird is always with you when you eat out? A swallow. * Why did the monkey like the banana? Because it had appeal. * Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because he wasn't peeling well. * How do you catch a monkey? Climb up a tree and act like a banana. * What do you call a shoe made from a banana? A slipper. * What did the mixed-up hen lay? Scrambled eggs. * What did the evil hen lay? Deviled eggs. * Where did the tough chicken come from? A hard-boiled egg. * What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on a barn roof? An egg-roll. * What do skeletons like to eat for dinner? Spare ribs. * What did the ghost eat on Halloween? Ghoulash. * What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. * What do you call a two-legged cow? Lean beef. * What do you call a no-legged cow? Ground beef. * What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam. * What did the sea serpent eat for dinner? Fish and ships. * How do chickens bake a cake? From scratch. * What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear. * If fruit comes from a fruit tree, where does chicken come from? A poul-tree. * Why did the baker stop making donuts? He was bored with the hole business! * Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels! * What did the mayonnaise say when someone opened the refrigerator door? "Close the door, I'm dressing!" * Why did the tomato turn red? Because she saw the salad dressing! * Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted. * Why was the customer at the Italian restaurant so angry? I don't know, but he sure gave the waiter a pizza his mind! * Why did the pig become an actor? Because he was a ham. * What did the hamburger name his daughter? Patty. * CUSTOMER: "Do you have spaghetti on the menu today?" WAITER: "No, I cleaned it off." * How do you fix a broken tomato? With tomato paste. * Why couldn't the teddy bear eat his lunch? Because he was stuffed. * Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook! * How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer and add one dinosaur. * What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth? (A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich.) * Which is the left side of a pie? The side that is not eaten. * Why did the apple go out with a fig? Because he couldn't find a date. * What do little vampires like eating? Alpha-bat soup. * What should you take on a trip to the desert? A thirst-aid kit. * Patient: Doctor, I think I need glasses! Waiter: You certainly do, this is a restaurant! * SHARLEE: What kind of vegetable would you like tonight? ETHAN: "Beets me." * What do polar bears eat for lunch? Ice berg-ers. * What is the best thing to put in a pie? Your teeth. * "Waiter, will my pizza be long?" "No, sir, it will be round." * Have you heard about the cannibal who was late to dinner last night? They gave her the cold shoulder. * What is a penguin's favourite fast food? Ice-burgers. * Ethan: "Did you like the restaurant on the moon?" Sarah: "No, it had no atmosphere." * Why can't you starve to death on a beach? Because of the sand which is there. * What's an elephant's favorite vegetable? Squash. * What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon. * What do you get when you cross a frog and a popsicle? A hopsicle. * What does Riff get when he crosses a sweet potato and a jazz musician? A yam session. * What is a cheerleader's favorite drink? Root beer. * What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese. * What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier? A hot-diggity-dog. * Ethan: "This food tastes kind of funny." Sophia: "Then why aren't you laughing?" * What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemonaid. * Why shouldn't you tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn have ears. * What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria? The food. * What kind of plates do they use in space? Flying saucers. * Why did the clock in the cafeteria run slow? It always went back four seconds. * What vegetables do librarians like? Quiet peas. * Did you know what the computer did at lunchtime? He had a byte. * What do you say to a monkey with a banana in each ear? Anything you like. It can't hear you. * What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries. * What did the witch put on her bagels? Scream cheese. * What did the snowmen like to eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes. * Where does Be-Bop Boy buy his groceries? At the supermarket! * What day do potatoes hate the most? Fryday. * Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crummy. * Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a-wafer so long. * What was the most popular candy on the Titanic? A lifesaver. * What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot. * What did a pirate pay for his corn? A buccaneer. * What did the mamma tomato say to the baby tomato? "Catchup!" * What do you call 150 strawberries bunched together? A strawberry jam. * Why was the strawberry sad? (Because her mom was in a jam.) * Why did the kid throw the butter out the window? Because she wanted to see the butter-fly. * What do ghosts like for dessert? (I scream.) * What is a math teacher's favorite dessert? (Pi.) * What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi. * What is the worst vegetable to serve on a boat? Leeks! * What is a penguin's favorite salad? Iceberg lettuce. * How does a penguin make pancakes? With its flippers. * What is white and fluffy and is loved by dogs who watch films? Pup-corn. * What is a baby dog's favorite dessert? Pup-cakes. * What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple. * When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato? When it is a French fry. * What is a frog's favorite cold drink? Croak-a-cola. * What is a frog's favorite hot drink? Hot croak-o. Sharlee's Food Knock-Knocks: (10 knock-knocks) * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut tell anyone-it's a secret. * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Broccoli. Broccoli who? Broccoli doesn't have a last name, silly. * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Dishes. Dishes who? Dishes me, who are you? * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Cash. Cash who? I knew you were a nut! * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Figs. Figs who? Figs the doorbell, it's broken! * Knock-Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Banana split, so the ice screamed. * Knock-Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I'm here? * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Justin! Justin who? Justin time for lunch. * Knock-Knock! Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in, we're freezing! * Knock, Knock! Who's there? Olive. Olive who? Olive right next to you. Ethan's Alligator Jokes What do you call an alligator detective in a vest? An investi-gator. If an alligator makes shoes, what does a banana make? Slippers. Class Clown Jokes! ''I'm Matthew and here are some class clown jokes for you! ''(in Matt's speech bubble) Why did the class clown go to the doctor? Because he was feeling a little funny. Why did the class clown throws her clock out of the window? To see time fly. What should you do when a mob of class clowns attacks you? Go for the juggler. Why did the class clown wear loud socks? So that his feet wouldn't fall asleep. Why was the class clown sad? His funnybone was broken. Abe: "I'd like to take over the class clown's job." Matthew: "Those are really big shoes to fill." Why did the class clown cross the road? To get his rubber chicken. Why didn't the cannibal eat the class clown? He was afraid that she would taste funny. What are the latest class clown fashions made of? Polyjester. Why did the class clown take a PC to school? So that he'd have an Apple for the teacher. Why did the class clown throw fire out the window? To see a firefly. Why did the class clown throw water out the window? To make the waterfall. What happened when the lion ate the class clown? He felt funny. What is the pink toejam found in between a teacher's toes? Slow class clowns. Why did the class clown pour water on his teacher? He wanted to make a BIG SPLASH in front of his class. Why did the class clown throw a dragon out the window? To make the dragon-fly. Why did the class clown wear the school's biggest shoes? He had the school's biggest feet. Riff's Jazz Music Jokes ﻿What did da jazz musician say to da sweet potato? "Hey, man. let's have a yam session." What's da difference between a jazz musician an' a pop star? A jazz musician performs a thousand chords in front of three people an' a pop star performs 3 chords in front of a thousand people. What keeps a jazz musician on Earth? Groovity. Category:Books